


all it takes (is a push)

by kingjem



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders is a Dark Side, My interpretation of the Orange Side
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:06:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25584103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingjem/pseuds/kingjem
Summary: logan finds himself in a dark room with someone. The other sides are nowhere to be found.or logan gets pushed to the dark side by a wave.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Original Side(s), Logic | Logan Sanders & Original Side(s)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

He was floating. Was he? Or was he flying? Either way, Logan felt a sudden cold wave surround him. It wasn’t unpleasant but if he was completely honest with himself, he didn’t know how it made him feel. 

“Logan. Come out,” A warm voice called to him. The cold waves pushed him towards the voice; Thomas must need his help. He felt his lips spread into a smile, he was finally needed! Everyone else was wrong, he was needed! Logic always did have a seat at the table.

He rose up in Thomas’ living room, the smug look on his face quickly falling off.

The living room was dark, it almost seemed as if the lights were off, and they were, but there were no switches on the wall. They were completely bare of any decorations. The normally cream-colored paint of the apartment seemed to be chipping, blood splattered the walls, maggots, and termites having found a new home in the cracks.

Logan was speechless. Where the fuck was he?!

“Fucking disgusting, isn’t it?” A cold voice laughed. Logan finally concentrated, looking around. None of the other sides were to be found, except… for one side. He was sitting on a broken throne. Golden edges, and plush black velvet.

“Orange.”

The other side spread his arms, grinning, “The one and only, bet you’re wondering why you’re here, aren’t’cha?”

He was, but what could he say? Where the fuck am I? Orange was occupying Patton’s spot, his shattered throne taking more than a little space.

“Well, I know you’re curious,” He snickered, “You’re in the subconscious, or as you probably know it,” He paused dramatically, closing his eyes and putting a hand on his chest, “The Dark Mindscape.”

“That makes no sense if that were true… where are Janus and Remus?”

Orange looked crestfallen at his comment, “You don’t know?”

Now it was Logan’s turn to look at the dark side with an unreadable expression, “Know… what?”

Orange snapped his fingers. A large screen slid down from the ceiling, settling into Roman’s spot. A video… no, a live feed starting playing, and what he saw was enough to steal every ounce of oxygen from his lungs.

Janus and Remus. They were sharing the spot in front of the hallway. His spot.

He whipped his head from the screen, turning to face Orange. His breathing was starting to become erratic.

“Explain. Now.”

Orange snapped his fingers again, “I’d have a feeling you couldn’t handle seeing that. That’s the mindscape, the ‘light’ one, at least.”

But if they were there, and Logan was here, that could only mean one thing.

“You know what it means, don’t you? You’re a smart guy, Cortana. Say it.”

“They became light sides, how did that even happen?! The last time I checked everyone was terrified of Remus, and Janus had barely been accepted by Patton.”

Orange looked at him curiously, “Interesting… so you weren’t there for Remus getting accepted by everyone? Or Janus reconciling with Roman...”

The wave knocked again, although this time it wrapped him and pushed him towards the reality he didn’t want to admit, not to Orange, and definitely not to himself. This wasn’t a trick by Orange, or even by anyone else. It had been done by something…

“The subconscious.” Orange finished for him, lazily inspecting his nails “You can’t blame anyone for this if that’s what you were wondering.”

He couldn’t, but he knew what had happened. “Thomas put me here.”

“Yeah no shit, Sherlock.” He clapped his hands, summoning a thick book in his hands. It was bound in pink leather. The side flipped to a page towards the end “You like books right? So maybe you’ll listen.”  
“If Thomas’ subconscious decides it so, a side can be pushed from the Core to the unconscious. The side in question has no say in the matter, and the action cannot be undone unless the unconscious decides it so.” He read out loud, finishing by slamming the book closed.

“Janus and Remus?”

“They were accepted by Patton, so Thomas’ subconscious let them leave to the Core.”

Well, that made enough sense, but something still didn’t check out, and he had a feeling Orange was dying to let him know.

“Why can’t I remember their acceptance? I would’ve been there. I had to be, I’m Thomas’ logic after all.”

“Oh darling!” Orange laughed boisterously. He wiped a clearly fake tear from his eye “Why do you think that is, Logan? You weren’t there! Ya got replaced by-” He moved his hand dramatically.

“Janus,” His eyes widened.

“Correct, my good sir! With Janus as Logic, and Remus on his way to being accepted by everyone. You were stuck in the waves, ooh ooh!-” He clapped his hands excitedly “I know! Think of it like being in space! Everything moved at a different pace for you, so you thought you were only in the waves for seconds-”

Time moved differently in space, and due to a lack of an orbit, it moved a lot slower. He took a deep breath. He was prepared to listen to the news.

“How long?”

Orange checked his wrist, where there definitely wasn’t a watch “About 7 months, give or take.”

So that’s where he was now, wasn’t it? He tried so hard, so fucking hard to be useful and for what? To be surrounded by darkness, by waves that overlapped in his mind, repeating itself over and over again. The same message Logan did not want to think about. It didn’t help that Orange had lowered the screen again, and was now munching on spoiled popcorn as he watched the twins argue in the light mindscape. He was gone, he was no longer a light side. Would Thomas even care? He looked around the Subconscious.

No. He wouldn’t and now Logan was truly alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> logan notices a few things about the subconscious and he and orange talk.

It was humid, which was odd for a room that was supposed to be part of Thomas’ subconscious.

Two days had passed since he had woken up from the wave. Two days since he had lost his status as a light side.

He spent most of his time in the main area. Logan still didn’t have his summoning abilities due to the new environment, but Orange had been courteous enough to summon some books for him.

The dark side was an odd host, to say the least. He liked to keep to his room just leaving to summon anything Logan might need or check on Thomas (and the Light Sides) through his screen.

Logan always left the room when that happened. He didn’t have a room yet, but Orange told him the subconscious was growing one for him, which didn’t exactly spark confidence.

The second day went by fairly smoothly. Logan had fallen asleep on the table behind the couch. A venture that didn’t last very long because as he soon heard Thomas’ voice congratulate Janus on a solid solution he felt his shoulders melt. Why did Janus get to revel in that? Why couldn’t Logan have that attention? Looking around the room he realized he might never get an answer. His mood did not get better.

However, on the third day of Logan’s stay, Orange was nowhere to be found, which was probably for the best. He was an unsettling side. His presence creating a weird aura in the subconscious. Logan had come to terms with what had happened. It still upset him to think about the other sides in the mindscape without him but he had cried all the tears he could muster for at least the next three months.

He wasn’t sure what the others would do if Orange went to the light mindscape, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t be finding that out anytime soon.. He sat down on the sofa, trying to not think about the putrid smell that seemed to be emanating out of the cushions.

He opened his book. Orange had just handed it to him that very morning. It was Death on the Nile by Agatha Christie. The other side had handed it to him, most likely after seeing Logan mope around the room.

He didn’t have time to read any words when he felt someone jump on, though it definitely wasn’t a mystery as to who it was.

“Orange,” He muttered, pushing him off “You shouldn’t surprise someone without any kind of warning, you know?”

The dark side laughed “You’re funny, Lolo” He said, laying down on the ouch his feet up on Logan’s lap.

“Do you mind?”

“Not at all! I’m very comfortable”

Logan couldn’t help but smile. Orange’s loud and rowdy personality reminding him of…

He blanked. There was someone like that in the light sides. He was sure of it. There was. There had to be. He knew for a fact there was, but when he scoured his mind for their name he came up blank.

A short answer came to his mouth. The twins! That was right! The twins…

His eyes widened. No- he- he knew the names of the creativity twins. They had names! But as much as Logan tried he could not remember. What was happening to him?

Orange felt Logan tense up “Hey Bill Nye, what’s up with you? I was expecting a clever retort, y’know!” He sat up straight. “Logan?”

“What are the creativities names’?”

Orange sighed in relief, “Is that it? You scared me for a second!”

Logan stared at him “Is that it?!” He grabbed Orange’s shoulders, shaking them “Why did I forget?! What’s happening?!”

“Okay, Lolo. Calm down”

“Did you do this to me?”

Orange pondered on it.

“I guess? I mean- no! It was the subconscious, which is technically me, but it wasn’t on purpose!”

Logan didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Ugh, okay- This isn’t like Thomas’ light mindscape, this isn’t even a Mindscape. It’s the subconscious, and even though I control it… He’s pretty sentient”

What.

“He’s… alive?”

Orange nodded, “He’s not like us, or any of the sides. He’s completely under my control, but I don’t actively choose what Thomas suddenly unconsciously chooses to believe, y’know?”

This was too much.

“And he’s leeching my memories?” Logan asked, suddenly feeling completely watched, “Is there a reason for that?”

“Well, you’re part of us now. That’s the main reason, but I’m pretty sure you’re not gonna like the second reason”

“Well, that is not reassuring. What’s the second reason?”

“Patton. I’m sure you know by now, he believes the dark sides are evil. So the subconscious is adjusting” Orange’s tone was neutral but it was pretty easy to tell what he thought of Thomas’ moral side.

“You don’t like Patton, do you?”

His laugh was deafening “Of course I fucking don’t! Did you know Janus was desperate to get accepted by Patton? He wanted nothing more than to leave, and don’t even get me started on Virgil” He was clearly upset, “I don’t blame them, but my fucking rage has to go somewhere”

Logan looked down at his hands. What could he even say? Nothing, that’s what but he still had a question.  
“Then why don’t you leave too?”

Orange laughed again, “I don’t want to. I love it here. I just- I don’t like being alone”

Logan’s eyes went down to his hands again. They looked the same as always. Hands that had helped Thomas countless times. His eyes drifted back to Orange. He still remembered how he had felt when Orange had told him everything his first day here. Denial, anger, grief. The list went on, but the more he thought about it the more he was sure.

He had no right to get angry at him. They were both getting fucked over, and the knowledge of that made him want to break his own fingers.


	3. keeping up with the light sides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a sneak peak into the current state of the light side of the mindscape.
> 
> (a short interlude. this chapter takes place at the same time as chapter 2)

Everything was surprisingly peaceful in the mindscape. Well, maybe not. They were all having a new argument over Thomas’ dropping views.

It wasn’t as if Thomas’ career was completely over, as much as Virgil thought so, but from the last video, he had posted to the most recent one… the gap in views and likes was pretty staggering.

Virgil was sitting down on the staircase clearly done with everyone. Patton seemed to be trying to mouth a joke to Virgil, Janus was observing the shitshow and Roman and Remus? Well...

“HE IS NOT DOING  _ THAT _ .” Roman crossed his arms “It’s shameful”

“And why the fuck not? I hate to say it, Thommy, but you’re falling out of favor!” Remus yelled, glaring gleefully at his brother. He was enjoying this way too much.

Roman’s face was as red as the sash on his suit.

Janus laughed. “My, my, Roman… I don’t quite understand why you’re so against this idea. I would certainly… garner some attention, wouldn’t it?” He was teasing.

“HE HAS  _ PRIDE _ !”

“Does he?” countered Remus. He was just having fun with Roman at this point.

“Shut the FUCK up, Shrek’s ugly brother.”

Remus snickered, “Does that make you-”

“NAY! Thomas! Stop him!”

Janus laughed. They all did. It was a sweet and friendly banter between the Sides. Janus looked around Thomas’ living room They had finally been accepted and-

He blinked. What was he saying? That was… odd. They had always been a part of the Light Sides. Why had he thought otherwise?

Janus broke out of his stupor when Thomas started talking to them.

“I guess even unconsciously I want to stand out, huh?” Thomas laughed and Janus calmed down, even with everything that was happening Thomas wasn’t panicked or stressed- wait a second. What had Thomas said?

Remus prepared to hit Roman in the back of the head, but not Janus wasn’t even close to paying attention.

The smile melted right off Janus’ face.

_ It had been two days, and Orange was sobbing his eyes out, not that Janus could blame him. What was he even supposed to say? “Hey, I’m sorry that the Side you considered your little brother left us because he wasn’t happy here. I’m sorry he left for the light mindscape. I’m sorry you can’t go with him.” He would never stop apologizing to Orange. It was Janus’ fault that had Virgil left. He knew that but just acknowledging it would do nothing. _

_ He put his hand on Orange’s shoulder and gave it a reaffirming squeeze. _

_ “I know words won’t be enough to change what happened, but we will never leave you. I promise” _

  
  


Janus blinked. He screamed. Remus was standing inches away from his face. His eyes were wide and glaring. It would’ve been enough to send big foot fucking running.

“What the  _ FUCK _ are you doing?!” Janus yelled at the other creativity.

Remus stuck his tongue out. He licked Janus’ cheek “You were crying, Jojo Siwa.”

The side’s hand flew to his other cheek, and yeah. It was damp. A couple of tears were still rolling down.

“Are you okay, Janus?” Patton asked, clearly looking concerned about the fact that the logical side had just burst into tears for absolutely no reason.

Was there a reason? Had Janus just burst into tears and then… What? What could have been the reason? He couldn’t remember. One second he was listening to the twins fight over Remus’ embarrassing idea to have Thomas promote his content while butt naked and the next he was crying with everyone staring at him.

No. It was nothing. It could’ve just been an influx in Thomas’ psyche. A thought that had affected him emotionally. Yes, that had to be it.

“I’m fine. Thank you, Patton.”

The moral side grinned. “Of course! Always gotta make sure our logic is safe and sound!”

**Author's Note:**

> thank u sm for reading! feel free to hit up my Tumblr logicalsanders for questions or a daily dose of logan!


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